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You went to school. You worked hard. You sacrificed weekends, nights, and maybe even a bit of your health to climb the ladder of “success.” You landed that job you wanted, you nailed those presentations, and your skills are top notch. So, you’d think this would mean you get to call the shots in your life, right? Wrong. It turns out that despite all this hard work and the accolades you’ve racked up, your life can still feel a bit… backwards. How does that even happen?

Well, let’s unpack that a bit. First, we have to dive into the wisdom offered by the Stoic philosopher Seneca, who had some pretty powerful thoughts on managing our time and focusing our energy. In one of his letters, he recounts a tale of Alexander the Great. Imagine this: Alexander is poised to conquer new lands, and the rulers from those lands come crawling to him, offering territory in exchange for peace. But Alexander, in a moment of clarity and strength, corrects them. He explains that he didn’t come to Asia simply to collect whatever they wanted to give him. No, he was there to decide for himself what would remain behind after his conquest.

While you may not be charting courses for battle, the message still stands, be fierce about what you’re willing to accept in your life.

Seneca expands on this, suggesting that it should not be treated as an afterthought. It’s not meant to be shoved into your schedule after you’ve dealt with your work, chores, and social obligations. Rather, it should be prioritised and revered, something you dedicate your best hours to, rather than the scraps of time left over after everything else is done.

Why You Shouldn’t Sell Yourself Short

It’s easy to lose track of what you genuinely value in life when you’re bogged down by endless to do lists and the demands of others. We slip into the habit of believing that our value lies solely in what we can produce and how others perceive us. When we ‘sell ourselves too cheaply,’ we agree to put the most important things last, effectively accepting the leftovers of our own lives.

You are entitled to put your own personal growth and happiness at the forefront. You deserve to carve out space for your passions and what truly matters to you. Your time is valuable; it should be treated with respect and used wisely.

The Mindset Shift

So, how do we make that mindset shift? It starts with recognising your worth. Each day, ask yourself: What am I prioritising? Am I really giving my best hours to what matters, or am I spreading myself thin just to meet the expectations set by others?

Remember, it’s not just about being busy; it’s about being effective. Think of the time you spend scrolling through social media during lunch breaks or answering emails late into the evening. Is that time well spent? Or have you become a pawn in someone else’s game?

Setting Boundaries Like a Pro

One of the toughest yet most essential skills is setting boundaries. It’s okay to say “No” when your plate is already full. You don’t have to accept every project or request that comes your way. Resist the urge to be the ‘yes’ person just because it feels good in the moment. Instead, practice saying “My work on myself comes first. You shall get what’s left over.”

This doesn’t mean you should become unapproachable or neglect opportunities that come your way. Rather, it’s about evaluating whether those opportunities align with your goals and values. Are they in line with the investment you want to be making in your time and energy?

Prioritise You

A key aspect of not selling yourself cheaply is prioritising self care and personal growth. This may sound cliché, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do. Make sure to block out time for yourself in your calendar, even if it starts as small increments. Use it for activities that invigorate you, allow you to reflect, or just bring you joy.

Whether it’s reading, exercising, meditating, or just getting lost in a good film, dedicate time for these pursuits like you would any important meeting. The more you invest in yourself, the richer your contributions to work and your relationships become.

Align Your Values with Your Time

Another essential aspect is to assess your values constantly and ensure your time aligns with them. Take a good hard look at where you’re spending your hours each week. If you’re sinking a ton of time into a job that doesn’t spark joy or serve your larger goals, it’s time to reassess.

Consider what activities make you feel fulfilled and which ones leave you drained. You want to fill your calendar with actions that resonate with your values and dreams. You don’t have to change the world in a day, but you should take deliberate steps toward living a life that feels true to you.

Define What Success Means to You

Let’s talk about success. The societal definition often boils down to money, promotions, and accolades, but what about your peace of mind, happiness, and growth? Quality and fulfillment should be the metrics of your success! It’s essential to ponder what success looks like for you, personally.

Creating your own definition gives you the power to live your life authentically instead of following a blueprint that may not serve you. Start writing down your version of success. Visualise how you would spend your days, what you’d focus on, and who you’d surround yourself with.

Find Your Tribe

Surrounding yourself with people who uplift you and encourage you to prioritise what matters is invaluable. Seek out individuals who reflect your beliefs, values, and ambitions. This support network can offer you perspective and fortitude when you feel like you’re drifting away from your chosen path.

A solid community reminds you to invest in yourself and doesn’t try to pull you into chaos. Developing relationships that emphasise respect for personal boundaries can uphold your commitment to not selling yourself too cheaply.

Take Action

It’s one thing to read about prioritising yourself, but taking action is where the true magic happens. Each time you make a choice that directs your time and energy toward your goals and well being, you reinforce your self worth. Start small, make intentional decisions, and see how they lead to bigger changes over time. You’ll find that each time you choose yourself, you’re practicing self respect, which will radiate into every part of your life.

Don’t Be Afraid to Change

It’s easy to get comfortable in routines and roles, even if they don’t serve you anymore. So, if you find yourself dragging your feet toward something that used to excite you, it may be time for a change. Embrace the fear of stepping away from the usual or expected. Sometimes, taking risks and letting go of things that no longer align with your vision is one of the most liberating feelings.

Remember, as Seneca highlighted, you shouldn’t just accept whatever is left of your time. You deserve the luxury of making choices that contribute to a meaningful existence!

Conclusion

Whether it’s your career, personal life, or aspirations, don’t sell yourself too cheaply. Own your time and stay committed to what you hold dear. Remember Alexander’s lesson: You are the decision maker in your own life. Honour yourself by prioritising what you genuinely value, and refuse to accept the left overs.

Live life boldly, invest in yourself, and make every moment count. Set your sights on what truly ignites your spirit, and reclaim your narrative! You’ve earned all the best pieces of your life, so don’t settle for less!