The Blog

Let’s take a moment to ponder a question that seems so deceptively simple yet also profoundly complex: What makes for a successful life? Isn’t that the ultimate question that everyone grapples with, at one point or another? The truth is, it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you’re a stay at home parent, a CEO, or someone just trying to get by; we all want to feel like we’re living our best life, right? Success can feel slippery, twisting and turning like smoke. And let’s face it; life can be downright messy. So how do we know whether we’re doing it right? How do we gauge if we’re “winning”?

Let’s look at a remarkable figure, Marcus Aurelius. We know him as this stoic philosopher, king of Rome, but he was also the most powerful man of his time. With great power comes great responsibility, and he could’ve measured his accomplishments by expanding the Roman Empire, producing stunning literature, or even having a bunch of kids running around. But guess what? That’s not how Marcus rolled.

In Book Five of his Meditations, he drops some serious wisdom. He encourages us to reflect on our journey and consider what actually matters. “Consider all that you’ve gone through, all that you’ve survived,” he writes, reminding us to take stock of our lives. It’s not about the accolades, awards, or how many Instagram likes we get. No, for Marcus, it was about something much deeper.

So what’s his metric for a successful life? It’s not about your social status or your bank account. Instead, he asks a powerful question: “How many unkind people have you been kind to?” Think about that for a second. Here is a guy who had it all, the power, the riches, the adoration of the masses, and he found solace in kindness. That’s a game changer.

Life is overflowing with difficulties, jerks and unkind people are everywhere. If there’s anything we know for sure, it’s that the world can feel harsh and judgmental. We face the constant temptation to match unkindness with unkindness, to bite back when someone snipes at us or to let other people’s negativity drag us down. Amid all the chaos, Marcus Aurelius flips the script: rather than sinking to the level of those who mistreat us, we should aspire to be better.

Embracing Patience and Tolerance

Practicing kindness amid all the unkindness takes patience and incredible strength. Picture yourself in a situation: someone cuts in front of you in line, and your first instinct is to grumble and roll your eyes. But instead of giving in to irritation, consider this: every interaction is an opportunity to make a choice, who do we want to be?

Choosing kindness over bitterness isn’t easy, but it can be rewarding. Imagine turning that moment around, giving a smile instead of a scowl and saying “go ahead, I have time” It shines a light amidst negativity, and who knows? Maybe it’ll inspire kindness in return.

Sure, the world is filled with challenges, and every day can seem like an uphill battle. But when we measure our lives by our capacity for kindness, we foster resilience. We can look back and say not only did we survive, but we actually thrived despite the bitterness that surrounds us.

Redefining Success

When we talk about success, we need to redefine it, a business woman’s success isn’t just about sealing a deal; it’s about fostering a supportive work environment. A parent’s success isn’t solely defined by how their kid performs in school, but in teaching resilience, patience, and kindness. It’s easy to get caught up in materialistic goals or social standings. We crave validation, and our culture often places undue weight on wealth or achievement. Those are, undeniably, metrics of success. But, let’s layer this with the idea of kindness. When success is defined by how we treat ourselves and others, we build up a foundation of compassion that transcends mere accomplishments.

So how does this apply to our day to day lives? Think of it as a little challenge, a gentle reminder to tune into what matters most as you navigate through life. When you rise each day, ask yourself:

• How can I be kind today?
• Who needs my support, even if they haven’t treated me right?
• Where can I show patience instead of irritation?

These self reflective questions can guide our actions. They can help eliminate the desire to keep score of how many trophies we can stack up over years. Practicing kindness can be revolutionary, not just for those on the receiving end but for ourselves as well.

Building Connection

Connecting with others also enhances our sense of self worth, which builds another layer of success. Think about it. When you operate from a place of kindness, you create bonds, it opens doors to meaningful connections that can enrich your life far beyond any personal gain. We can foster a network of support, understanding, and acceptance, allowing us to navigate life’s unpredictable waters.

Moreover, community thrives on kindness. When we go out of our way to be tolerant and understanding, we influence those around us. Maybe that grumpy person in your office just had a rough morning. A little kindness from you could change their day. Who knows? Your kindness could even create a ripple effect, encouraging others to treat people well too. It sounds pretty idealistic, but it’s entirely possible.

The Challenge of Modern Living

With the fast paced world we live in, everything feels amplified. Social media can warp our perceptions, making success feel even more unattainable. The highlight reels of everyone’s lives can leave us feeling like we’re falling short. But here’s the thing: we’re all human. Failure and setbacks are just as much part of success stories.

Mini revolutions of kindness can become a new benchmark in our lives. Imagine a scenario where we collectively decide that these daily acts of kindness are what truly enrich us rather than the number of likes or followers we have. If we have something like a “kindness metric,” that would be worth striving for.

Embracing Vulnerability

Let’s also acknowledge the courage it takes to be kind. It’s far easier to dismiss or criticise unkind people than to extend generosity towards them. But doing so ultimately enriches our character. Offering kindness is an act of vulnerability because it opens us up to potential rejection or hurt. Still, it cultivates empathy in ways we might not even realise. It allows us to step outside of ourselves and understand that other people grapple with their own issues.

Taking that leap, even when it’s uncomfortable, embodies the very essence of resilience. For every resistance we meet is a reflection of our journey; embracing vulnerability while holding space for others expands our capacity to connect.

Overcoming the Cynicism

It’s easy to give into cynicism and bitterness in a world that often rewards the self serving. But the truth is that kindness doesn’t make us weak; it makes us strong. There’s innate power in uplifting others and resisting the urge to conform to negativity. Conniving and planning for personal gain can lead to short lived satisfaction, but kindness creates lasting impact and fulfills a deeper sense of accomplishment.

Create a personal mantra that resonates with you, an outlook that shapes your view on success. Whether it’s “kindness is strength” or “collect moments, not accolades,” find something that inspires you daily. Embed that value into your lifestyle and watch as it transforms your perspective on success for good.

Finding Meaning in Our Stories

As people, we often strive to associate our lives with stories, those connected events that punctuate our existence. When we reflect on how many unkind people we’ve been kind to, it contributes to our narrative. It becomes less about the accolades we collect or the material possessions we amass. Ultimately, it’s the relationships we build and the kindness we extend that are worth retelling.

Life is full of unexpected circumstances and challenges that could have made even the most empowered individuals feel small. Marcus Aurelius knew that resilience and reflection germinate from those experiences. It’s not just about surviving; it’s about thriving and finding meaning in our stories.

Conclusion: Choosing Kindness Daily

So, what does it really mean to live a successful life? Perhaps it’s about discovering what truly resonates with our hearts. Perhaps it lies in the connections we build, how we uplift those around us, and the kindness we offer even when times get tough.

Let’s move forward by cultivating a mindset where the definition of success and winning expands beyond individualistic desires. Let’s aim to change the framework from “What have I achieved?” to, “How have I affected others positively?” When we do this, we can change not only our lives but also the lives of those around us, creating a legacy steeped in kindness, patience, and tolerance. After all, in a world that often seems to glorify the opposite, there’s nothing more revolutionary than choosing kindness.