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It’s wild how a simple phrase can set off a chain of thoughts that leads down a winding path of introspection. One such quote that’s been on my mind is from the wise stoic, Marcus Aurelius: “You always have the option of having no opinion.” This thought resonates deeply with me, especially in a world that seems desperate for everyone to take sides. In fact, it seems more relevant than ever. So, let’s dive in and explore this notion together.

Back to Basics: The Barber Shop Philosophy

It was about 40 years ago when I was an eager apprentice in a dock road barbershop, just starting out in the trade. I can vividly remember my boss, a hard as nails, ex footballer, giving me some sage advice: “You can talk with the customers about anything, but stay away from politics and religion.” At the time, I couldn’t fully appreciate the weight of those words, but looking back, they’ve proven to be some of the most valuable advice I’ve ever received.

In those days, barbershops were more than just places to get a haircut; they were community hubs where ideas floated around like the hair clippings on the floor. People came in for a trim, but they also came to hang out and chat, sometimes about sports (it was Liverpool in the 80’s), sometimes about life. But if the conversation veered into politics or religion? Well, that’s when it could get dicey (again, Liverpool in the 80’s).

I remember feeling the collective tensing up in the room whenever a customer began to lean towards those touchy subjects. One moment, you could be joshing each other about a recent game, and the next, you’d have two customers on opposite sides of a political viewpoint arguing about who knows what. The mood could shift just like that! That subtle tension in the air made me appreciate the wisdom of my boss’s advice even more.

Staying neutral in those moments felt good. It felt comfortable. I didn’t feel the need to engage in debates that would likely lead nowhere. Instead, I listened, laughed or groaned at the bad jokes and when possible, steered the conversation back to safer waters.

The Weight of Opinions

Fast forward to today, and it feels like the stakes are even higher. We live in what many call the “cancel culture,” where opinions can be weapons and silence can indeed be golden. Sharing your beliefs is seen as brave, and in some circles, it certainly is. However, there’s also a heavy cost associated with being outspoken.

You see, while it’s not necessarily bad to have opinions or to stand firm in one’s beliefs, the act of sharing them can be fraught with challenges. The internet has made it so that one can’t just have a casual discussion without the fear of backlash. People have taken it upon themselves to scrutinise every word, dissecting the nuances of statements, and sometimes jumping straight to conclusions without context.

I often find myself reflecting on the peacefulness that comes from not feeling like you must pick a side. There’s serenity in being an observer rather than a participant. Just think about it: how much easier is it to go through life without feeling the constant pressure to align with labels or groups?

Embracing the Silence

When I think on Marcus Aurelius’ quote, I’m reminded that having no opinion is, in itself, a valid choice. In fact, it can be empowering. You don’t always have to take a stand; sometimes, you don’t have to have an opinion at all. Imagine the relief that comes with that thought! It’s almost like shedding a layer of societal pressure that dictates you should have a response or stand for something.

I recall a time just last year when a friend invited me to join a group discussion on a hot button issue. I felt the pressure to contribute, to voice my thoughts, but I found myself hesitating. Did I really want to dive into that? Was it worth the potential fallout if I said something someone didn’t like? The answer became clear: I didn’t have to. So, I didn’t. It felt liberating.

This doesn’t mean I shun beliefs or close myself off to the world. It simply means that I choose to engage selectively. Sometimes it’s more enlightening to listen than to speak, to understand rather than to argue.

The Freedom of Listening

This journey into silence has led me to a new appreciation for listening. Listening is an incredible gift often overlooked. It allows for deeper connections and insights. When I sit quietly and let someone share their thoughts, especially the passionate ones, I often gain a broader perspective on the issue at hand.

When we engage genuinely, we can learn. It’s not a competition to outsmart someone; rather, it’s a chance to understand different viewpoints without feeling the need to retaliate or defend our own.

The art of listening creates space for dialogue without the chaotic energy that so often accompanies opinion sharing today. I’ve found that the most rewarding conversations occur in the spaces between words, where empathy can flourish without the drama of conflict.

Cancel Culture: A Double-Edged Sword

Let’s not ignore the elephant in the room. The phenomenon of cancel culture has provoked passionate responses, pro and con. On one hand, it has become a way for marginalised voices to be heard, pushing back against mainstream narratives that have perpetuated injustice. It’s important to amplify these voices and recognise the harm caused by unchecked opinions.

On the other hand, cancel culture can sometimes resemble a fickle beast, where one misstep can lead to devastating consequences for individuals, regardless of their intentions. The pressure to conform comes from both sides, often leaving little room for nuance or understanding.

This is where the beauty of Marcus Aurelius’s reminder shines through: if you find yourself torn by the turmoil of public opinion, remember that you can opt out. Not all battles need to be fought, and not every hill is worth dying on. The peace that comes with this recognition can be priceless.

Ultimately, It’s About Balance

Life is all about balance. While there is merit in standing firm in your beliefs, it’s equally vital to know when to hold back and simply let things be. The act of sharing opinions should come from a place of constructive dialogue rather than a need for validation or conflict.

Sometimes the bravest choice is to hold space for different experiences and beliefs, rather than feeling compelled to confront or combat them head on. In a world where everyone is itching for a fight, stepping back can be a radical act of self care.

A Different Way to Engage

So, how do we engage with the world without feeling overwhelmed by the need to voice our opinions? It starts with recognising that our worth isn’t tied to how loudly we shout but rather how compassionately we engage.